This has been a time of some trial and difficulty for a dear family member. I came down to Texas to help out, because of the love and affection I have for this person and also because I have experience with anxiety and depression. I know how our minds can interfere with daily living, giving us messages that are not at all beneficial. We find it difficult to sleep, tossing and turning until the sun comes up, then dragging through the day. After a few nights of little sleep, and a few days of increasing struggle, our thoughts can become even more chaotic. It becomes not worth it to go to all the trouble of getting out of the house, phoning a friend, making plans. All of this is, of course, exacerbated when we are alone. So, I came to Texas.
We all have a few tricks in our bag on ways to handle things that bother us. Some of us watch TV while others get into some heavy duty exercise. Some people meditate while others bake, or eat, or game, or do drugs. Others don't have very well developed coping mechanisms. Or, if we do have good mechanisms, for some reason our brains won't let us use them to pull ourselves out of the despair. I know that people say to get a positive attitude, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, just don't let yourself give in to depression. Not as easy as it sounds.
So, I came down to Texas to lend a hand and found that there was a day when the anxiety couldn't be relieved, so we headed off to the local emergency room expecting to get some comfort, a little Xanax type medication, and a referral to a good counseling service. What we got was a forced incarceration on the psych ward.
The doctor explained to us that my friend was considered a threat to herself and, with the laws in Texas he was required to admit her under court order so she could not just sign herself out. No matter how we tried we could not convince this doctor that my friend was not a danger to herself and anyone else. "Just curling up under the bed and sleeping forever" was not a proposal of immediate damage to self. And, to many rational thinking people, the questions "Have you ever thought of suicide?" in this case, was more academic than not.
However, the end result was that my friend received a forced 48 hour stay on the locked ward and a significant increase in anxiety. She was assigned a patient number and all phone calls were directed by this number. Heven forbid I should lose that piece of paper with the number on it or she could have ended up like Charlie in that old folk song, "Did he ever return? No he never returned. And his fate is still unlearned."
So, watching what was until recently a bright, brilliant, vibrant woman I now see someone who fears the potential for being locked up at the slightest misstep; Someone who wonders about the kind of statements or actions that could again force her to be locked up against her will.
Our solution to that is to head home to Michigan, one of the most beautiful spots on Earth. The people there are understandable to us. We have a better understanding of how the system works. And, where best of all we can be surrounded by friends and family. The kind of people who, even if they don't understand why things are so horrible, still show up to make the horribleness better. The kind of people who show up with a cake or jello or just plain love. The kind of people who know our stories and know who we are.
It will be good to be home.
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